As a society, I think knowingly or unknowingly we have become computer age personification of Pavlov’s dog, plugged in and striving for binarily coded rewards as likes, bells, views if not anything then virtual ego massages. Despite my addiction to constantly being plugged I used to have this misconception “I am not one of them”.
Many blame lockdown for their digital addiction, but not me. I’m a workaholic, due to my fondness of a job well done from past 8-9 years (at least I think), I developed a habit of staying plugged in most of my time. Recently, while watching a movie, something I’ve been doing every night for the past 5-6 years, it appeared to me, I’m addicted to the matrix – I wanted to pull away from the film that night, but couldn’t. I couldn’t bring myself to switch off my phone and enjoy the silence. At that moment, I decided to go unplugged, for a day, no 3 days without plugging into this time sucker we call the internet.
My activities
Mornings, during digital detox, went by without a glitch. However, after lunch, I became anxious. Yet, the most difficult time of the day was before I dozed off into the realm of dreams. I dropped to my bed (a hoist lowers me) and instantly succumb to a digital craving, my mind went movie movie movie on an endless loop. The numbing effects of zoning out into a film is incredible – a good movie can be a virtual pacifier ((let me know if you want to know my recommendations :P). Although my pangs of desire to plug in at night were evident, it was my mom who suffered the most. My routine had been broken and sleep wouldn’t come easily. I tossed and turned throughout the night, mom had no choice but to constantly reposition me. In the end, night broke and proved that I can still survive.
I anticipated the sudden bouts of anxiety and so I tried to fill the newly empty space with a variety of work and activities. To suppress my craving for knowing what’s happening in the digital world, I diverted my mind. I joined mom in her activity of chanting prayers, a ritual I hadn’t participated in for years. We chanted for the better part of an hour. Not just did I work on the spiritual side, I tried my hand at my creativity in drawing. I was surprised that I could hold a pen (drawings were stupid though). Aside from chanting and drawing, I attempted to hold a book, and to my delight, I held a lightweight paperback and read – typically, I find my Kindle easy, but I wheeled through my discomfort and found the joys of reading, no plug required. Not just this, I cleaned my closet and made a box of memories. Using my natural sympathy card, I almost talked my family into playing board games or cards with me every night which proved to be a savior.
I need to admit that time was tough for me, I did not miss social media being a digital marketing person but I for sure missed movies…
My realisations
While there was nothing to do, I sure did some soul searching. I sat by an open window, gazed into the azure sky (I wish a Lil drama tune here), and let my thoughts wander without boundaries, unlike my body.
The aha experiences that grasped me was:
- I can switch off my phone or computer whenever I want to.
- There is no obligation towards anyone or anything except for loved ones who love you with all your tantrums and work which obviously pays your bills.
- I can definitely prioritize screen time and usage of social media apps if I want to and not show the world a world which in reality does not exist.
- and most important I need to clean my glasses every day 🙂
The 3 days I spent in a digital void was a time of introspection. Most often, we spend our days (in my case nights too) pursuing electronic validations: likes and comments on our social media pages, but with a sudden separation from the matrix, I was forced to examine myself. I learned a valuable lesson during digital detox, love of the self. After logging out, I came into perspective and began to realize that I don’t need a like on my every comment I post. I was able to face the most avoided question by most of us, “Why am I doing what I am doing?”
The cliche came true, happiness comes from within.
smilentearswidpriti 